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We all die alone.

See? Bummer, isn't it? Just the fact that that thought is free floating in the consciousness of the non-religious society is enough to make me go out and find Jesus in my couch cushions.

My bed is officially half-covered in crap again. That's usually the first sign that I'm single. The second is trolling the dating websites. The third is asking friends if they no anybody I'd like. The only difference between all those other times and this time? Well, actually, until today there was no difference. I've... already done all three of those things. BUT THIS TIME! This time, I had this realization. See, the depression and the loneliness collided, thus canceling each other out and, voila! I see the inherent flaw in loneliness and I see what it creates in me, thus making me appear so desperate. I see that the trolling and the begging only further a person that I really don't think I am anymore.

That's actually a good part of this break-up: It was the first one that didn't break me. I thought that was going to be Kelly, but instead... yeah... it was this.

Weird.

I'm seriously floating.

posted by AmeroKafka @ 12:44 AM