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Let's talk about Sloth...

Sloth

I met Sloth about two years ago when I was in my exile in West Linn. I had moved back home and gotten a job at the video store with Joey being my boss. Sloth was friends with some of his friends... so on and so on. We bonded over comic books and movies and his hilariously sad personal life. His family was like some warped version of the Family Guy meets the Osbournes but Sloth's in on the joke. He's seriously the smartest person in his entire family tree and that is sad and incredible at the same time.

Sloth's story is a long one filled with half-starts and near misses, but my story with him mostly centers on him being a pet project a la Clueless where Alicia Silverstone tries to make Brittaney Murphy cool and popular. The only difference is that Sloth was already cool, I just had to let people know this. So I dragged him to comic book shows, midnight movies, and big Shari's sessions, always trying to get him to regale us with his hilarious anecdotes about dating strippers and nearly getting deported from Japan. The thing was that I could never figure out why any girl wouldn't be after this guy. He was talented, sweet, caring, and very funny. He was incapable of spite or bitterness, and he never let himself offend anybody. He wasn't ugly or gangly or scarred... He was Sloth.

Women began pretty much taking advantage of him after awhile. Two certain girls in particular, on two seperate occasions, used his emotions like bouncy balls ricocheting back and forth between liking him and just needing a shoulder to cry on and cuddle with, but at the eleventh hour not wanting anything to do with him. This infuriated me. Here was this amazing friend of mine who just needed a girl with similar interests and personality... enter Kelly.

The story between myself, Sloth, and Kelly is such old news and has been told so many times, that it's never worth repeating again, but I will say that in the end, they became an amazing couple and I'm very happy for them.

Sloth is by far one of those friends who rarely needs gratitude or vilifacation. He'll do something nice for you and then still do you a favor. He'll go above and beyond the request of a copy of a DVD and make you individual menus and sometimes even a cover. He'll remember movies you like and come up with something special that didnt take long to do, but has that whole "its the thought that counts" smell all over it. The thing is? He'll never ask a thing for it or anything. Seriously.

That's Sloth: a friend that can stick with you through anything, and never ask anything of you. He'll always be there to help you and you'll never use him... because he's just too nice of a guy and too fucking cool.

Thanks, man.

posted by AmeroKafka @ 11:35 AM