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Platonic - 14:1

So I have this shirt. Joey and I were at the Ceder Hill's Crossing mall awhile back and he suggested, in jest, that I get a t-shirt made that advertised my constant platonic friend status. I go, "Dude, why not?" Lo and behold, I throw down the bucks and now own said shirt. Kellan and Will, while digging the joke, abhor me ever wearing it in public because they're of the mindset that if that's what I'm advertising, then that's what women will assume I've set myself up for.

The thing is that I both loathe and love platonic female friends. On the one hand, Lisa Deadly and Barista are great friends that happen to be girls. There's this thing where it's like brothers and sisters and that we look out for each other and not judge each other. An aura of safety exists there where you can count on them to be loyal and understanding and vice versa. Other people who work well in this catergory are Butterfly, Bartender Rose, and, on occasion, Irish Kelly. It's a very healthy scenario that yields a friendship that I look forward to having.

Problem is that it's super hard to come by without falling into some carefully laid "traps" that can spring up. This is in no ways indicative of people's character and I'm not trying to engage in women bashing. No one means to be this way, it just happens. The thing is, that sometimes women can end up using us nice guys. We're eager to be there and be the helpful person, but let me tell you: we hate having to listen to the B.S. about men when we're right there. There's always an inherent attraction in these situations (usually on the guy's side), but friendship usually wins out. I've got some friends that have had this help start everlasting friendships just like mine. The thing is that when this process takes too long, or isn't an honest process, the girl can sometimes take advantage of a vulnerable guy's giving nature. It's unintentional and no one gets any blame here, but... It sucks. It can make men very wary to enter into these relationships because it can make a guy feel used (women, too. I'm not trying to be sexist) and adverse to having platonic female friends.

Over time, the whole "When Harry Met Sally" line about men and women being unable to be friends because of sex can come true. It has the tendency to fuck everything up and should be avoided at all costs. I like to think that these friendships could lead somewhere positive. That being friends with someone of an intimate, trusting nature could lead to a great relationship. Who knows? Sometimes it can work, but I've never been comfortable enough to explore it.

I guess, the point of all of this is that I've been exposed to many of these situations and gotten some truly great friendships out of them. The common difference? Honesty. If both people are honest upfront and throughout? Good results occur. If either side isn't or masks honesty with a confused, "I'm not sure what I want" then nothing can work out well.

Things to keep in mind in the new year...

posted by AmeroKafka @ 2:44 AM