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Build a Better Mousetrap

It's not like I only think about women, relationships, hating my job, and comics/movies. Seriously, I do have some, like, deep thoughts, man. Seriously.

About four or five times today, people I worked with asked if I was sad. Not, "are you ok?" but rather, "Why are you sad?" It made me uneasy. What type of vibe was I giving off that they just assumed I was miserable? Frankly, I don't hate my job. I don't even really mind it. I just don't like my boss. A lot. The job actually isn't that hard or painful or even boring. It's just the way that I feel things are run that make me not want to work there. This is why *gasp* I'll be quitting the bank soon. Once the wedding of Bentley has finished and Lisa Deadly is out of town, I'm back on the job hunt. I'll have moved out of Kevin's, be downtown, and pretty much be able to just stretch a little better regarding where I can go to seek work. Hope beyond hope, the car will be sold soon.

Here's the thing, if I could venture a guess as to why I might come off as truly melancholy: I think I get disappointed when I realize I don't have all that much control over where I've been and how I've gotten here. It's a weird philosophy to have when you look back over your life and feel helpless. It's weird because you have absolutely no control over your past. None. Obsessing about it only leads you in circles of frustration. The future is what you should focus on. If not that, then definitely the present. Letting the past govern you or your feelings seems to just "help" you make the same mistakes. That's just silly.

So next time you see me sad or you think I'm focusing on some silly thing from an eon ago that will never be changed (but WILL be repeated if I don't snap out of it), just slap me. Slap me hard across the side of the head. Just one good smack. If I get pissed at you, just say, "You were thinking about something other than bettering yourself. I could tell."

posted by AmeroKafka @ 1:26 AM