Where you been?
Where have I been? Thinking. Thinking a great deal.It's been awhile since I've updated the page of thoughts and quandaries and mostly, I've been just too busy to care. The other reason is that I've had so many things on my mind that I really felt that if I shared in this venue, I'd regret later. So, I've refined the thoughts a little. We'll see if it comes out right.
Look, I'm an insensitive dick. I know this. I'm tactless and a prick and I really just say what I feel when I feel it. Let's face it, as a friend of mine said today, "While you piss me off, at least I always know where you stand." It's true. I don't put up a front. I don't lie. I let you know what I think of you as much as I can.
In the past, I've offended and hurt a lot of people many different ways. I used to consider an ability to overanalyze people to their barest weaknesses as some sort of gift and I flaunted it. Recently, I've revised that ascertation to something that's more along the lines of futurism. I make assumptions based on limited evidence of behavior and I'm almost always wrong RIGHT NOW. Down the road, who knows. Most often, when I make some jerkish statement about someone's character, it comes true to a point. Not enough to say I was right, but enough to say I was close. I'm arrogant because of this. The question is, if this is a weird coping mechanism that I've developed to deal with people and uncomfortable situations or a symptom of something greater?
I've spent some time with some younger people recently. People in their late teens early twenties that were friends of friends. Watching them interact and have conflicts was interesting for me because I remember when my friends and I started to feel trapped by that situation. At some point sitting around reminiscing about a few years ago without making new memories or progressing at all will cause an environment rife with resentment. I wonder if these people will end up where I am today, deciding what's more healthy: the friends you've had forever who have trouble letting the past go or the friends of the present who know the person you are now and appreciate you for that.
It's a sick conflict. Do you resent the past because it never evaporates or do you embrace the present because it is the world where you exist? I heart thinkies, don't you?
Other updates:
*new job starts Monday. I think I'm going to be ok.
*I'm moving to NW 23rd. Another building my dad built. Neato.
*That last post? All resolved. Time heals all wounds.
*If you haven't rented Brick, Inside Man, or V for Vendetta then you apparently have greater things to do with your time... like cancer research or volunteering at homeless shelters. Glad to see you enjoy philanthropy.
posted by AmeroKafka @ 1:41 AM
5 Comments:
Some people never learn.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
By "some people" I mean you.
Hm, I've always been curious about the spineless pissants who leave venomous comments (be they pointed or obscure), and yet don't have the balls to leave their name or even the slightest hint as to where they beleive to have earned the authority to judge.
And by "spineless pissants" I mean "anonymous" up there.
You overanalyze too much. It's not healthy.
Sometimes, people wont like you or agree with you, or do what you think they should. Just because someone isnt Happy does not mean that they are Sad. Sometimes, what they say IS what they mean. Like when i say that Superman is extremely lame it doesnt mean that i dont think he'd kick batmans ass in a straight on Thunderdome fight, no toolbelt allowed. He'd totally win that. But if they were out in the city my money is on Batman cus he's TRICKY and Superman's just a wacky alien. In fact if memory serves, Batman carries around kryptonite in his utility belt. He'd so own him.
what was i talking about?
oh yeah.
Neil Gaiman's book Stardust is being made into a movie with Claire Daines in it. That makes me a happy panda, even tho it's not one of my favorite books by him.
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